On the future of Iraq...

If anyone might have an idea as to how things are going in Iraq nowadays, or a better-than-average understanding of the actual social dynamics in the Middle East, between Sunni, Shia, Kurd, as well as the influence of the Iranis and Syrians, it may very well be the soldiers on the ground. They after all must deal with all these factions on a daily basis and like it or not, have seen the interplay between them first-hand. I read with great interest the following post.

Jason Linkins is a Political Reporter at the Huffington Post, covering media and politics. He's based in Washington, DC. Previously, he wrote for HuffPo's Eat The Press, and has also contributed to DCist and Wonkette.

The following is from Jason Linkins and was posted online April 1st, 2008 at 01:25PM.

Letter from a Soldier: Answers You Won't Want to Hear.

In The Bonfire of the Vanities Tom Wolfe described a New York City awash in what could be called "sectarian" tension. The city trooped along in its day-to-day, glossy existence, seemingly unaware of the racial divisions and class separations that prevailed, and the white-hot caldera they fueled below the city's fault lines. In the midst of the erupting tensions, one of Wolfe's characters (a black preacher, actually, how timely!) introduced a concept that has resurfaced in my memory from the moment it seemed clear that we were bent on a course to depose Saddam Hussein and assume responsibility for the future of Iraq.

That concept? Steam control. The idea being that Gotham was a boiler, perpetually on the edge of explosion, that was only kept intact through a thousand tiny adjustments. This was the arduous, unappealing work of managing this particular polis -- backroom promises, compromises, and buy-offs helped to reduce the pressure and keep the peace, and it did so at the expense of higher-minded principles. The need for "steam control" overrode the need for justice, or truth, or the curing of society's ills. Instead of solving the root of the tension, the tensions were leveraged against one another until a stalemate was achieved.

What happens when you apply the same ideas Wolfe ascribed to New York City in a place where the tensions are even deeper, the divisions more entrenched, everyone is armed to the teeth, and there is no tradition of the sort of democratic institutions that could maintain order in the wake of a blooming power vacuum?

You get Iraq, circa 2008. And you have American soldiers managing the valves on a boiler that's constantly on the verge of eruption.

The email of one such soldier made it's way to the blog of Spencer Ackerman today, and every single one of his keen insights are worthy of digestion. There's one in particular I find worthy of highlighting. After summarizing what he sees as the only plausible way forward -- "We need to ask 'if we left tomorrow, what would happen in Iraq?' and from there, we need to determine which of those anticipated results are unacceptable to us. Then we must aim our efforts on making sure those unacceptable results do not occur" -- he reaches this conclusion (emphasis mine):

When I look at the problem that way, it becomes almost impossible to find a purpose in what we do. Regardless of what we do, the Shia are going to take control. They have completely infiltrated all the security forces. The only kind of leader who could keep them in check was a tyrant like Saddam. And when the Shia take control, as soon as we leave, they are going to be as brutal as they like against the Sunni and there will be little we can do about it. That is what will happen whether we leave tomorrow or in ten years.

When it comes to whether or not deposing Hussein was for good or ill, a discouraging word is seldom heard. This is mainly because critics are often shamed with the admonishment: "Surely you must admit that the world is better off without Saddam Hussein!" In the strict terms of a game of moral checkers, one is hard pressed to admit otherwise. And if it turns out that our efforts in Iraq manage to kill and harm Iraqis at a slower rate than Hussein killed and harmed Iraqis, we might be able to one day back up our moral certainty with statistics.

Still, I hardly think it's out of bounds to appreciate just how bad ol' Saddam had it during the last years of his rule. It cannot be surprising to hear this soldier note Saddam's ability to keep Iraq "in check" -- after all, it's men and women like him who have essentially assumed Hussein's daily tasks of "steam control." Our troops handle Iraq's valves in an endless process of managing sectarian tensions, while working to keep regional rivals from asserting their claim over Iraq's sovereignty. Our soldiers have a keen view of how hard it was for Saddam to keep the threats, both within (the Shia and Kurds) and without (al Qaeda and Iran) at bay. And they have had to manage the fractured state without indulging in Hussein's brand of unrelenting brutality (though, sadly, there have not been a complete absence of incidents of same).

And "steam control" is about the only thing we are achieving in Iraq. This was never more evident than the past week, where Muqtada al Sadr rather effortlessly demonstrated how much more influence he has over the state of play than we do. I'll not soon forget those chants -- "Muqtada! Muqtada! Muqtada!" -- that preceded Hussein's hanging. Any illusion that the United States had control of Iraq should have ended right then and there. It's pretty clear that despite all the good press the "Surge" gets at home, the relative peace Iraq has lately enjoyed has been achieved at the whim of al Sadr and his loyalists, to say nothing of Iran, whose fingerprints are ubiquitous as well.

Meanwhile, we're consigned to the boiler room, frantically attempting to stave off the inevitable -- something John McCain says we could be doing for the next American century. Senator McCain claims that he is a break from the flawed strategy of the Bush administration. But the Iraq miasma is not the result of a flawed strategy. It is the result of a flawed concept to begin with, and the notion that "better" strategy is going to remove the mistakes at the root are delusional. This soldier's assessment of the role Saddam Hussein played in the great scheme of things is central to exposing one of the Iraq War's great flaws: having assuming the responsibility of "steam control," we can see just how badly Hussein was hogtied and hamstrung in maintaining his own power, and how little capability he had where posing an imminent threat to the United States is concerned.

I don't think this metaphor is a bad one. "Things are heating up," the email reads. "We're facing a high risk with very little potential payoff." Somewhere in Hell, Saddam Hussein's ears are ringing. -

**********************************************************

Now I myself am by no means an expert of foreign politics and certainly not on the Middle East. But it would take an absolute idiot to NOT realize that this soldier's description has pretty much hit the nail squarely on the head. Globally, over 80% of Muslims are of the Sunni sect. 35% of Iraq's population is Sunni. Iran is predominantly (90%) Shia. The Saudis...? 90% Sunni. The Taliban and Al Qaeda...? Sunni. The Baathists who previously held power under Saddam Hussein...? Sunni. Syria...? 70% Sunni. Al Sadr and his supporters, who form the vast majority of Iraquis? That's right... Shia. They represent 65% of Iraq's population.

I don't think we're about to see the end of this any time soon... If and when the Coalition Troops do pull out, regardless of when that might take place, it will be a bloodbath for the remaining Sunnis. The Saudis will then see themselves forced to protect the Iraqi Sunnis, as I'm sure will the Syrians, which in turn will incur the ire of the Iranians. And on it will go, forever and ever... Mind you, even if eventually every Shia Muslim believer is butchered, this will by no means bring peace to this "religion". The Sunnis will no doubt invent some other unbelievably retarded reason (at least as ridiculous as the initial Shia/Sunni rift...) to carry on the bloodletting. It's like dealing with a mad dog. As those of us in civilized countries have come to know, there's only one way to deal with a mad dog...

What a soldier is...

"Do you know what a soldier is...? He's the chap that makes it possible for civilized folks to despise war!" - Allan Massie, Scottish journalist/novelist.

Riding into work...after the US Elections '08

Yesterday and today, I decided to ride into work. I have been making progress with my riding lately (over the last three or four weekends...) and it seems to hurt less every time I do it. This recent spate of unseasonably nice weather has been all the impetus I need, to thumb my nose at my bus pass. The Rockcliffe Parkway was like a wonderland as I rode along it's fog-shrouded length this morning. Fortunately there was no sign of deer and the traffic was light as well. All the requirements for a great ride in.

The remainder of the week promises to be just as nice, though it may very well signal the last hurrah for summer-like weather this year. Either way, I am enjoying it immensely and it has vindicated my conviction that I will yet ride again.

Today of course, the results of the latest American elections are in. Sen. Barack Obama (D) won over Sen. John McCain (R). This is seen as many as a 'historic' result, as of course Sen. Obama is the first American of actual African descent to be elected as president. I tend to view it in the same light as when John F. Kennedy was elected president. For as much as many may not know this, he was the very first Catholic president elected in the USA. At the time, this was a very big thing as well. He had to face fierce, even vitriolic anti-Catholic bias during his campaign.

There are those pundits who would claim that President Obama is the result of the struggles of many black generations before him. His election is seen as a day of victory for blacks all over the world. Now I suppose I can see how some folks might want to believe that, but I tend to disagree. This was the election of one person, not of a race. The same as Kennedy was elected on his character, not on his religion. Mr. Obama actually has roots in Africa. The vast majority of American blacks have as much in common with Africans, as I do with a white person living in the Netherlands. Which is to say, nothing. There were a great many American blacks who saw O.J. Simpson's acquittal for murdering his wife Nicole and her friend Ron Goldman, as a day of victory for blacks also. For as twisted, sick and fucked up as that is. Yes, there was jubilation in the streets as the news of his acquittal spread. To be fair, the American judicial system proved to be a farce and the ineptitude of the LAPD certainly did not help matters. But for their glorifying one of theirs literally getting away with murder, for me that day erased the credibility of Black America as far as being capable of civility.

It would be as if I were to glorify the actions of Hitler or John Wayne Gacey, simply because they were white. Such actions are unthinkable... I tend to believe that just as a man should not be convicted based on the colour of his skin, neither should he be absolved. The same should apply to electing a President, one would think...

There are some who would believe that it has taken this long for the United States to become 'progressive enough' to vote in a black as president. I disagree. I say that it has simply taken that long to produce, in this case, an individual of mixed ethnicity who was actually worthy of being considered for the position. I do not even consider him a product of 'America's black population'. That particular population has yet to produce a single individual with the interest, education, character, experience and electability to become president of the United States. If popular black culture in the USA has anything to do with it, that day is still a long, long, long way away. Most of those future candidates are still killing each other over their claims of owning a particular street corner. If they're not busy spending the most productive years of their lives behind bars as career criminals. Rappers, thugs, pimps and overpaid athletes do not constitute good material for presidential candidates either, yet these are the idols and heroes of Black America. This is not the genetic stock from which a world leader will emerge.

Obama's family roots go back some ways, as his father was from Kenya (so NOT the USA...) and his mother (Ann Dunham) was a white woman from Kansas whose ancestors actually owned slaves at one point. But it's the man himself, who got himself elected. I would say he was pretty much guaranteed the black vote. It would be idiotic to beleive otherwise. (Again, witness the O.J. fiasco...) But he had to appear to have something substantial to offer the rest of the American population who voted for him. Even if it was to offer 'anything but George Bush and the Republican Party'.

So this morning, the world is enamored with the newly elected President Obama. Let's see how long the love affair lasts, once he and they realize he has to start acting like a president. I wish him nothing but the best and hope for the sake of the American people, that he does turn out to be the 'black messiah' they seem to need. The Kennedys, for all their personal shortcomings, were by and large very beneficial and dynamic leaders for the USA. John F. was a very effective and charismatic president, who pulled the entire world back from the brink of a nuclear war. His brother Bobby was a fearless and tenacious Attorney General, who took on the forces of organized crime and corruption. In the end however, it was the powers that actually control their country, which had both of them killed.

Let's hope for President Obama's sake, that his electorial 'first' is the only similarity he shares with the late John F. Kennedy. I suppose the world will just have to wait and see.

On Motivation...

"Hey... If this was easy, they'd have fucking civilians doing it!!!" - PO1 NCIOP Paul F. Prudhomme.

You mean: "Save the dolphins"...?

"Dear Minister:

I don't care what it takes - I want the whales protected. Whether it be lack of salmon stocks, stopping navy sonar equipment, curbing pollution in our oceans.........you have the office and the authority to do so and we are running out of time.I am also writing to Prime Minister Harper to express my concerns. Yours truly N.K."

We received this email this morning, from a very well-meaning little girl. I hesitate to use the term woman, as the childish innocence of this e-mail's composition leads me to believe that this is not from a mature individual. I'm going to guess that it's from a 10-year old. If the author is any older than that, not only would I be surprised, but they are dumber than a stick if that is in fact their understanding of how the world works.

I'm going to have to assume that she is talking about the orca (Killer Whale) populations in the Pacific Region. They would be the only ones that might consume salmon and therefore be adversely affected by the dwindling salmon stocks. Orcas, it should be noted, are not whales at all. They are in fact the largest members of the dolphin family. They live on many prey items, not simply salmon. If the salmon become less plentiful, they will simply switch their diets to accomodate. BC's coasts are rich in seals and sea lions, both known prey items of orcas. To carry this even further, orcas actively hunt down and kill several species of whales, which in reality is how they earned their name.

Dwindling salmon stocks are indeed a valid concern in the Pacific Region. The commercial fishermen, as well as those who fish recreationally for salmon, are almost besides themselves beause of the conservation measures taken by DFO in the Pacific Region. Conversely, the Aboriginals are allowed free reign as far as harvesting salmon goes, which they regularly do by spreading gillnets across a salmon run and basically hoovering the rivers clean. Our political correctness will be the undoing of us yet. It will certainly spell the end of the salmon stocks in the meantime. It is true that at one time in our collective history, the aboriginals were rightly seen as the stewards of our wildlife resources. The voices of wisdom when it came to the interactions between man and beast. Well, that's no more than just another bad and inaccurate Hollywood stereotype these days. The aboriginals are the absolute worse offenders when it comes to the bold, in-your-face raping and mismanagement of our remaining anadromous fish stocks. Then of course, there is the incredible amount of poaching which goes on, committed by non-aboriginal criminals. Fisheries research institutes are also pointing their collective fingers at global warming, when attempting to explain the decline of the returning West Coast salmon stocks.

Recent research has indicated Navy sonar equipment has been found in many cases to cause not only disorientation in whales, but actual internal injuries, in cases involving super-powerful USN types of active sonar. The Americans have never developed a shallow water ASW (anti-submarine warfare) capability, simply because their sonar sets are so overpowered. True, in the deep water ocean, there exists a requirement for a long-range sonar capability, certainly for vessels escorting a CBG (carrier battle group). Must these be used to their full potential in peacetime? If all the nations which are capable of fielding a serious submarine threat towards the US Naval assets played by the rules, no. But being realistic, that's not likely to happen anytime soon. As a brief asides, Fisheries and Oceans Canada does not dictate policy when it comes to matters affecting national security, or how our Navy conducts it's business. The Minister can make a case (as presented quite likely through the Marine Mammal Protection section of DFO - Pacific Region) for the judicious use of Canadian naval sensors, but we are not the ones who are in conflict with indiginous whale or orca populations here. This young lady is misquoting articles written with regards to US Naval units, who operate not only off the East and West Coasts of North America, but in oceans around the globe. They do not however operate in Puget Sound or the Juan de Fuca Straits, with their sonars blasting away.

Curbing pollution in our oceans is also a very worthy sentiment and a real emergency. No doubt it will shock this young lady to discover that there are many federal laws and regulations already in place (Fisheries Act, Species At Risk Act, Canada Shipping Act) and being enforced to accomplish this very aim. These laws however are only enforceable as far as our territorial waters' limits stretch. We do not own or hold sway over the Oceans. We regulate what happens along our coastal waters, that's about it... Oh yes, there is DFO's International Affairs section, but their involvement is rather limited.

Fisheries and Oceans Canada's International Affairs Directorate develops policies and coordinates relations and negotiations related to international fisheries management. The Directorate also carries out the following activities:

- provides Canada with benefits related to the transboundary and internationally managed fish stocks industry

- administers international treaties and agreements, such as the Pacific Salmon Treaty

- negotiates with international fisheries organizations, such as the Northwest Atlantic Fisheries Organization and the International Commission for the Conservation of Atlantic Tunas

- participates in international forums on the conservation and protection of fish, including wild Pacific and Atlantic salmon

- oversees the resolution of disputes related to fisheries management and maritime boundaries.

So as you can plainly see, for as much as we can probably agree that time is running short for many marine species (and probably mankind as well...) and contrary to what our young N.K. believes, the Minister of Fisheries and Oceans Canada has neither the office, nor the authority required to save all the whales, whether they be in our waters or not. Even those which are not whales. Lastly, I might suggest that she is currently behind the trends. For as much as our orcas deserve every protection we can afford them, the world's shark populations are in a far more perilous state. But then again, that is yet one more situation that neither the Minister nor his organization, can do anything about. Yes, Canada as a country can voice it's concerns to other world leaders, but all we can actually do is to care for the species which inhabit our waters.

Little N.K. opens by stating: "I don't care what it takes". This might have been better versed as: "I don't know what it takes...". Just so you know, little girl, what it takes is a world commitment to safeguard all marine species. As it stands now, the world is far more intent on it's commitment to clean the world's oceans of every living thing, in a bid to feed our world's ever-exploding population. We're talking Indonesia, China, Japan, Spain, Portugal, Russia... any one of the nations that fish illegally and/or wastefully, in the waters of other countries. Lastly, even countries that follow the established commercial fishing regulations of their respective governments, often cannot help avoid serious tonnages of by-catch. These are fish species which are unwittingly harvested along with other legitimately targeted species. They were simply at the "wrong place at the wrong time". The worldwide damage done by bottom-trawling alone, where the ocean floor is turned into a virtual moonscape, is something that our oceans may never recover from.

I admire this young female wanting to do something positive, but she really needs to take her blinders off and get educated. Learning about the oceans and the creatures that live in them, about how they are affected by what we as humans do, is the first concrete and positive step an individual can take towards making a difference. Chanting a slogan out of abject ignorance, simply to appear trendy or making preposterous demands out of hand to a government department, does nothing to further your cause nor the welfare of the creatures you claim you want to protect. You can't talk out of your ass if you want anyone to take you seriously.

Harper's office? They'll drop the delete button on her e-mail so fast it'll make her head swim. Why? This has nothing to do with the Office of the Prime Minister of Canada. And neither I might add, does the seal hunt.

A very good weekend...

Okay... so it rained for much of Saturday. We all knew what to expect so I made plans accordingly. My honey was actually off this weekend, which was quite a surprise, actually. We hooked up with some old friends of hers on Friday night, for pizza and conversation. Nice couple. I'm hoping we get to do it again.

Saturday, we worked in a walk in the late morning and ended up getting caught in the beginning of the rains, as we made our way back from Rockcliffe Park. My arm was complaining as we made our way back into the van, but the heat soon took care of that. We grabbed a quick brekkie at the Tim Horton's drive thru (what did we ever do before those breakfast sandwiches???) on the way home. I decided to get some physio done then, as my better half headed out for some shopping with her daughter, I closed up to play some XBOX 360. After all... there are an amazing number of evil forces out there that need to be dealt with, if our life and liberties are to be maintained.

I have spent countless hours traveling the globe, conducting covert and overt ops. I have rapelled from helicopters, parachuted behind enemy lines, have been delivered by small boats, armored vehicles and tanks. I have fast-roped down the face of colossal dams, crawled through jungles, taigas, deserts and ruins, as I confront and dispatch armed miscreants of all nationalities. Muslim extremists, Chechens, Russian Ultranationalists, North Koreans, greedy North and South Americans... all wielding vast arsenals of cutting edge weaponry, including small arms, heavy weaponry, aircraft, armour and renegade MRV nuclear weapons. All this I do at great personal peril, without ever once expecting a thank you from the oblivious civilian population.

I have seen many of my fellow warriors mowed down in battle, but still I forge ahead... I myself have felt the Reaper's touch on many occasions, whether through over-exuberance, misadventure of singular stupidity. I have survived on the occasional bite of cold Kraft Dinner sitting on serving trays, or warm drinks long past their prime of effervescence... a sip of forgotten coffee... cold as the blood of these our cyber-enemies. Through unimaginably trying circumstances I have battled alongside the forces of Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six - Vegas and Vegas 2, Ghost Recon 1 through 3 (Advanced Warfighter), Call of Duty 1 through 4 (Level 2), Gears of War, Army of 2, Battlefield Bad Company, the list goes on...

So, much of my Saturday was spent completing the Intermediate level of Call of Duty 4. I cannot tire of that particular game. It is simply so well done, the graphics so awesome...small wonder it won Game of the Year in 2008. And the harder the levels, the more enjoyable the gameplay. I look forward to obtaining my own XBOX 360 system when 'the kids' move out...

Sunday was... well, sunny! So much so that we decided to take a little road trip. First (following a quick stop at Timmie's...), we took a ferry ride from Cumberland over to Masson-Angers, to investigate the flea market. It's always an enjoyable little trip, though as the price per passenger vehicle has now climbed to $8.00, it's actually cheaper to drive into town from Orleans, cross over the bridge to Gatineau and head East from there along the 50 to Masson. Seriously... that doesn't take $8.00 worth of gas, even at today's prices.

Returning from Masson, we decided to take a trip down Route 31 (Bank Street), to pay yet another visit to McHaffie's Flea Market, just 2 miles North of Morrisburg. It just seemed to get sunnier and warmer as we motored along at an unhurried pace. We saw many folks out on their scooters, enjoying what turned out to be a perfect fall riding day. As we passed through Winchester Springs, we came upon a particular white-framed house which is always wonderfully decorated for every holiday and special event of the year. Halloween of course being no exception! They had done a fantastic job of decorating not only their house, but the front yard as well. At my wife's suggestion, we reckoned we simply couldn't pass by without taking at least a couple of pictures. The shots turned out great and we were happy we had decided to stop.

Arriving at the flea market, we toodled around for a little bit, my Honey obtaining information on the prices for renting a table there and about their waiting list. We browsed around upstairs and downstairs before deciding to head home. We bought a bushel of beautiful Cortland apples on the way out, for a mere $10.00, which we proceded to munch on as we made our way back to Orleans. They were delicious! Firm, sweet with just a little tang and so juicy! Yummy!!

I had appraised my better half that I intended on taking Baby out for a quick romp, if the weather was still holding by the time we made it home. As we made our way back, I could see the masses of dark clouds moving in from the Southwest. The sun was still out and the temperature was still warm enough and I figured I could squeeze in a quick ride to somewhere. As we arrived home, I headed to the shop to get it some physio exercises before heading out. I have found that some stretching exercises help, just before taking the bike out, as they limber up my arm and shoulder. Having completed these, I went back into the house to brief my spouse. I told her I planned on taking the ride I never finished on the 20th of July. I was going to ride along St.Joseph, through the intersection where all the bad shit happened, along the Parkway to downtown. From there I would head out along Colonel By to Hunt Club, then complete the loop by heading down River Road to Rideau Road, left along the Ramsayville Road, etc...

She watched me back Baby out of the barn, the wind picking up and gusting now as I slowly crawfished down the driveway. She shot me a worried glance and told me to ride safely. I assured her that I would be fine as I switched on the ignition key and that I would ride "like a little old man". I thumbed the starter and Baby sprang to life instantly. She remained in the driveway, watching me until I snicked Baby into gear and trundled off. God knows I appreciated her concern and love her for it, but fear is a loathsome emotion. I despise it. It paralyzes a person, suffocates them... can stop you dead in your tracks and not allow you to progress any further in your life.

I'm not a superstitious person, but I felt I had to go through that ill-fated intersection as soon as I could. If for no other reason than to take the curse off it. It was the old analogy of 'falling off a horse' all over again. I refused to allow it to hold any power over me, to colour my emotions one way or the other. This was the whole reason behind this particular outing. As I weaved down Jeanne D'Arc on my way to St.Joseph, I was perfectly serene. Again, my shoulder and arm gave me a little grief on the right-hand curves, but I ignored it. I was focused... in the zone. Arriving at the lights marking the intersection with St.Joseph, I patiently waited for the left-turning arrow. It came and I wheeled to the left, picking the inside lane this time and checking my speed. There were several cars behind me but I was not about to be pushed around. I held my speed at a sedate 65-70kmh. I scanned all lanes ahead, Eastbound and Westbound. There were no cars waiting to turn left. Had there been, I most likely would have laid on my horn, just to make sure I had their undivided attention. The green light held for me at Youville and St.Joseph and we sailed through the intersection without incident.

It was done! The demons had been banished. I would never have to think about this intersection in a negative light again. I carried on to the Parkway and thoroughly enjoyed the ride. I passed many fellow riders and was able to prop my left hand up on the handlebar at an angle that I could shoot them a 'stationary wave'. They saw it and returned it. Excellent! It was getting darker and more blustery as the time wore on, but clad in my Joe Rocket ballistic nylon jacket and riding pants, I was toasty warm and weatherproof. I knew I could smell rain in the air, despite what the 'weather witches' had said about rain only arriving later on in the evening. An old salt can't be fooled. I decided then to make a loop around 47 Clarence and head back home, after a brief stop at The Lookoff. The ride back was every bit as enjoyable and I actually kept my speed below 80kmh.

As I arrived back home, the garage door opened and there stood my Honey. She has developed a sensitive ear for the sound of Baby's thumping 1800cc V-Twin engine. She is very considerate about getting the garage door for me, when I return from my travels. She was happy and relieved to see me back, safe and sound as it were. I had ended the day on a note I could be happy with. I had no sooner parked Baby in the barn, than it started sprinkling outside. I smiled as my spouse advised me of this. Score another one for the Old Salt. All in all, it had been a very good weekend.

On chain letters...

The internet, for as much as it can be an endless source of useful information, is also full of junk, spam and bullshit. That's the problem with an unfiltered milieu. Every so often, despite our best defenses, we will find in our e-mail inboxes, that most annoying of communications: the chain-letter.

I do not suffer from the guilt of not forwarding however many billion chain-letters have been sent to me, by people who actually believe that if you send them on, some poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead, will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show. To be brutally honest, I delete them as soon as I realize what they are.

Is it possible that there are people stupid enough to believe that Bill Gates is going to give them and everyone to whom they send "his" email, $1000? How stupid are they? Or: "Hey!! Check this out... If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by Christina Aguillera next week!" What a bunch of bullshit.

Yes, it's entirely possible that the evil chain-letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain-letter that was started by Peter in 5 A.D. and brought to this country by midget lesbian pilgrims on Leif Ericson's longboat.

Fuck 'em.

And the very worse of these chain-letters, are the ones which nowadays use the pretext of supporting our Canadian troops in Afghanistan. I don't even care that the vast majority of the soldiers depicted are in fact American troops, serving in Iraq. But whoever decided to trivialize, demean and mock our men and women in uniform, by making them the subject of a fucking chain-letter, deserves to be hung up by their eyelids and beat in their nutsack until they blink!! They also have the gall to include such gems as: "I'd better not see this chain-letter not forwarded or deleted!", as if these idiots actually have access to my personal e-mail account and settings. They want to make us believe that their sense of patriotism and 'esprit de corps' with our military is right up there in the stratosphere, while having the nerve to call into question ours. You're not worthy to tie the fucking laces on their boots, you senseless, moronic, attention-seeking civvie!!!

If people actually, really wanted to show support for our troops overseas or here at home, there are many official websites where they can do so, where our military men and women will be able to see such posts. Facebook has several... These chain-letters strike me as a means of simply having others believe that you support our troops, without actually having to do anything. Even forwarding on a photo-montage of our troops, fine. But don't insult them by making them the subject of a chain-letter.

If you're going to forward something to me, at least send me something mildly amusing. I've seen all the: "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 million times.

I don't fucking care. Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity.

The point being? If you get some chain-letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it!! If you receive any type of chain-letter which challenges your patriotism, your intelligence, your ethics or your compassion for others, delete it!! If you receive a chain-letter which promises to bring you luck, love, riches, fame or popularity, delete it!! If you are desperate enough to buy into any of these, you have way more issues than can be discussed here. If it's funny, by all means send it on. We can all use a little more humour in our day...

Don't piss people off by trying to make them feel guilty about some leper in Botswana with no teeth, who has been tied to the ass of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email. Forwarding chain-letters does not make you a good or a better person, it does not show others that you care or that you have a soul. What is does show people is that you are gullible, have a low sense of self-esteem and are desperate to be recognized, even if it's only by attaching your name to some piece of unintelligible drivel.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice fucking day.


P.S. Send me 15 bucks...