Saturday, December 29, 2007

God love Charles Darwin...

I've been reviewing some of the articles I have posted here lately and it occurs to me, that some of you might think me bitter and devoid of any humour. Trust me, nothing could be further from the truth. I enjoy a good many things in life and have developed a knack for finding humour in just about any situation. Military life will tend to do that to you. True, some people believe that my humour tends to stray to the dark side every now and then, but that's only because I derive such enjoyment out of reading the posts which periodically appear on the Darwin Awards website.

For those of you who may not be familiar with this whole premise, Charles Darwin developed a theory of evolution, which would have it that individuals of any given species were allowed by nature to progress and multiply, if they had the genes to carry on the bloodline. Nature itself would select those destined to carry on the species, via the law of Natural Selection. Natural Selection being the process by which Nature weeds out the weak, lame, sick and/or stupid who are of inferior genetics, so that the species' gene pool might remain viable. Basically, it's nature's way of skimming the gene pool.

Far too many people believe nowadays that just because we possess opposable thumbs, we're not subject to the Law of Natural Selection. They believe (mistakenly, as it turns out...) that human beings are above such laws of nature. What invariably results, is an ongoing litany of people who end their own existence through what could charitably be termed 'misadventure'. The actual reason for their demise would be "boneheaded stupidity". Remember that old chestnut: "What you don't know won't hurt you..."? Well predictably enough, it's been discovered that this is a load of bullshit. What folks don't know can hurt 'em plenty... In fact, it's likely to get 'em killed. And if you look around you, wherever you happen to live, you will soon discover that you are surrounded by a great many people that don't know a whole lot about anything. These then are your potential Darwin Award winners.

So how is it possible to actually derive mirth from someone else's misfortune? Simple. Very much like watching a totally implausible movie nowadays, which is filled with incredibly well-done CGI, when reading the Darwin Awards you have to temporarily suspend your sense of disbelief. The ONLY response you can muster when reading these tales of mind-bending idiocy, is laughter. I would even add laughter, mixed with a sense of actual relief (if you care anything about our species as a whole...) that these individuals did not get to reproduce, thereby preventing our already shaky gene pool from becoming even further contaminated.

In this age of medical marvels and prodigious leaps in the fields of science, one truth still holds: "You cain't fix STUPID!!"

A special mention has to go to those Westerners who materialize in radical muslim countries, where they are promptly kidnapped, tortured and killed. Had you people not verified with your travel agent about this type of situation? Are you really so situationally unaware of the goings on in the world, that you would think your religion or good intentions could hold you safe from such insanity? That's just asking for it, I'm sorry...

I think of this often, as I travel through this city and am exposed to my fellow citizens. I note how most civilians negotiating malls or city streets, resemble cattle that has just been released on a stretch of freeway somewhere. They bimble about with no sense of purpose or direction, blissfully ignorant and electronically isolated from the threatening reality which surrounds them. In truth, most of 'em will never see it coming.

So happy reading! At the very least, it can't fail but to boost your own feeling of self-worth. If you happen upon a passage which rings the least bit familiar, I would suggest you heed the writing on the wall...

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