Thursday, February 5, 2009

A Newfie joke for ya...

Three construction workers were working on a newly-commissioned high-rise condo building on the outskirts of Fort McMurray, Alberta. Two of the lads were locals from Fort McMurray, while the third was from Botwood, Newfoundland.

For some days now, the three had been comparing and complaining about the lunches they had been bringing to work with them.

The first Albertan spoke up: "Jesus… would you look at this? Another roast beef sandwich! Day after friggin' day, my wife makes me roast beef sandwiches. I'm sick of 'em!!! I swear if I see another roast beef sandwich tomorrow, I'm gonna jump off this building!"

The other two nodded in assent, with the second Albertan chiming in: "Lookit this!! Another goddamn pastrami sandwich! I'll bet I've eaten a pastrami sandwich every blessed day since we started working on this site and that was over three months ago now!! Well I've had it too… If I see another pastrami sandwich tomorrow, I'm gonna end it all as well!!"

It was G'arge the Newf's turn to speak up: "Yiss by da Jeezus, B'yes… Lookit dis 'ere baloney sandwich! Baloney, mind you!! Not even roast beef or pastrami! I'm some sick of dese too, me lads. If I sees anudder baloney sandwich tomorrow, by da Lord liftin', t'underin', lamplightin' Jeezus I'm after killin' meself too!!"

The following day, the three met up on the highest completed point of the building and sat down on the girders to begin their lunch.

Sure enough, when the first Albertan unwrapped his lunch… there sat a roast beef sandwich. With a last disgusted look towards his friends, he rose and stepped off the building, falling to his death.

The two remaining friends looked at one another with a creeping sense of dread…

"I'll go next…", said the second Albertan. He unwrapped his lunch and sure enough, staring back at him was yet another pastrami sandwich. "Screw this", he said. With a final wave, he too stepped off the roof and plunged to his death.

Well, ol' G'arge is pretty spooked but being a native son from The Rock, a man's word is his bond. He fishes into his lunchbag and pulls out… another baloney sandwich.

"Well... I"ll be dipped…", he says.

Without hesitation, he leaps off the roof and joins his friends lifeless bodies 17 floors below.

At the wake which was held later on in the week, the three grieving widows were sharing their thoughts on these recent tragic events.

"My God", wailed the first wife. "If I had only known my Robert was so fed up with roast beef sandwiches, I surely would have made him something different for lunch!!"

The second wife was equally remorseful. "If only Randy had let me know how much he disliked pastrami, I swear I would have made him anything he wanted", she sobbed.

The two looked towards G'arge's wife, who commented tersely: "I don't know what the Hell G'arge's problem was, me luvs… The fool always made 'is own jeezus lunch!"

No comments: