Tuesday, December 2, 2008

On the narwhals of Pond Inlet...

For as much as I find it very sad that some 600 narwhals have recently been doomed up in Pond Inlet, Nunavut, I find it even sadder that so many people out there are capable/willing to believe that they will die because "the Canadian government is too lazy or too cheap, to send an icebreaker in to save them". Clearly, these people are talking out of their ass and have no concept of the geography of the region they are talking about. They apparently have an even smaller understanding of the dynamics affecting interactions between narwhals, men and ships in restricted waters. It takes a pretty infantile train of thought to witness a natural disaster and automatically try to assign human blame for the situation. You could not possibly get an icebreaker to them, certainly not in time. And if you could get an icebreaker there, it would be impossible to keep the water open, for the narwhals to "follow the ship back out to open water", as if narwhals would actually follow a ship like so many obedient border collies. How childlishly unintelligent are these people, anyway???? Apparently, abysmally so...


I received a call from some mindless woman from Massachusetts yesterday, insisting that I forward on to the Minister of Fisheries and Oceans Canada, how disgusted she was with DFO's decision to allow the cull of these animals. Bear in mind that this woman is calling from Massachusetts, a state which was founded entirely on the whaling industry... The irony was priceless... By the way, you people in the United States of America, listen up... The moment you identify yourself as being from the USA, you are basically telling us that you are uneducated, don't really have a clue about the world or what goes on in it, and that your opinion and/or comment is easily discounted. Just so you know... Most of you barely know anything about your own State, much less those that surround you. As for what you might know about other countries, even Canada which is right next door to your North, it is non-existent. You simply can't formulate any kind of opinion, based on such fathomless ignorance. Much less expect anyone else to share it with you.

Maybe they also think, in their addled little pea brains, that it would be a simple matter to organize an armada of helicopters to corral and airlift these critters out, to plop them down somewhere in the open ocean. Again, that's another 'purely Disney scenario'. Like they would launch themselves out of a breathing hole, waving their mini flukes and wailing: "Me!! Me next, please!! Put me in that sling and carry me out to sea!!" Why is it so impossible (shift to animated movies starring animals who are no more than fur-bearing humans...) for these idiots to understand that in this particular instance, there is no saving these animals. The deal that the narwhals of Pond Inlet have with Mother Nature is simple: you make it out of the inlet before the ice forms and you live. If you're late getting out, you die. This is how nature works. There is no room for negotiating. And since you can't save them, you are left with 2 options:

a) Leave them alone and allow them to drown in agonizing slowness, as the ice forms over all the breathing holes, one by one; (apparently a popular option with our callers...) or

b) Allow the Inuit to harvest them for their personal use.

That's it. Those are the ONLY options there are. Period. No matter what you might read on any bullshit animal rights website. What you are witnessing here, is nothing more than natural selection. The narwhals are unfortunate enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Nature says you die. End of story. I should point out here that this is nothing new... This is not the first time this has happened, with narwhals being trapped by the ice. It is, if you will, a cyclical event. Mind you, this is probably the first time that so many have ended up trapped. Of course these people who are railing against this situation, are very likely people who don't think that the Law of Natural Selection applies to them either. We're not gonna go there this time, even for as much fun as that can be.

I understand Mr. Paul Watson (ex of the Sea Shepherd) has taken the time to compose a heart-wrenching, breast-beating diatribe for one of these animal rights website down South, in which he spews his vitriolic bile against his home country, accusing Canada of slaughtering these 'unicorns of the sea', as he so poignantly phrases it. I understand in some parts of the world, he likes people to call him 'Captain' Paul Watson. That's hilarious, as he is no captain of any description. He has not the slightest inkling about the laws of the sea or international law/conventions when it comes to being the Master of a vessel. He is criminally irresponsible when allowed to command a ship and has gone so far as to ramming other vessels, in order to carry out his grandstanding for the world's media. He is a joke, a criminal and a danger to himself as well as those around him. I've recently learned (much to my chagrin) that he has been given his very own show on the Discovery Channel nowadays, called 'Whale Wars'. It's laughable. Then again, I suppose if they'd been around at the time, they would have given Joseph Goebbles his own show... I must remember to send them a rocket for attempting to 'legitimize' his brand of marine insanity and irresponsibility. Imagine the ratings they'd be able to net if (when) one of his hapless crewmates dies as a result of one of his criminally stupid harassment plans.

I personally am dead set against any commercial form of whaling, even more so against the hypocritical 'research' whaling conducted by Japan in international and foreign waters, but the laws of the sea are sacrosanct. One does not use a ship to attack another vessel, regardless of the situation. There are other pressures which can and ought to be brought to bear agains such countries for their illegal or immoral activities.

Don't get me wrong, I am an ardent lover of nature and "all things great and small", as the old British television series would have it. But I also know that animals are not people, you can't "save" all of them, nor should you. People must eventually recognize and accept that nature has it's own laws that we are as humans cannot and must not circumvent. Animals are not "fur people" as many ignoramuses are fond of saying. You treat an animal as a human being and you're only going to wind up with a screwed up animal. Anyone who has ever watched Cesar Milan and his interactions with dogs, will know what I mean. The same could be said to apply for all species, I'm sure.

The litany of mindless comments from equally mindless people, is never ending. There are those who are screaming that no DFO officers are on the scene to ensure a humane harvest. A special tag has to be issued for each and every narwhal that is dispatched to meet it's maker. There are DFO officers there who are responsible for issuing these tags. Funny how these same people say that the seal hunt is not a humane harvest, because of the presence of DFO enforcement officers...

Narwhals have an ivory tusk. It's attached to the animal. There are those out there who claim that this situation was fabricated by the Inuit, as their only motivation is their greed for the narwhal's ivory. R-rrrrriiiiiighttt.... So the Inuit froze the water, trapping the narwhals, so they could harvest them for their tusks... Must be wonderful having such control over the elements way up North. I'm thinking if that were the case, Nunavut would look a Hell of a lot more like Hawaii!! The tusks, by the way, are regulated by CITES. (Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora).

CITES is an agreement between 169 countries that helps to regulate the trade and movement of over 30 000 species of wild animals and plants, as well as their respective parts and derivatives, in order to protect world populations of these species against overexploitation. CITES is implemented in Canada through federal-provincial-territorial legislation that also regulates the importation of exotic species that may be harmful to Canada's native ecosystems if they are released into the wild. But then again, I wouldn't expect any of these mental midgets to know anything about such a program...

Then there are those who rage against the fact that the Inuit are using high-powered rifles with scopes to cull the narwhals, instead of killing them "old school", like apparently Inuit are supposed to. So what they're saying is that they would rather see them harpooned with hand-made weapons, allowing them to die a long, drawn out and again, agonizing death. The more I think about the nature of these people's complaints, the more I'm convinced that they are not so much interested in the fate of these animals, as they are turned on by the gore, the carnage and any means by which these animals' suffering can best be prolonged. These are no doubt the same kind of sickos that sit at home with the curtains drawn, getting their jollies while viewing hour after hour of seal hunt tapes and other animal snuff films. The hunters carry out the hunt, yes. But they don't revel in the blood and gore to the extent that these so-called protestors do. These are the real sickos...

We truly do have some sick, sick individuals in this country and South of the border. There may be some protestors who misguidedly believe that for them to bitch and moan, will have other people believing that they have a 'social conscience' and 'actually care about our earth and the animals in it'. That may be what they think they are doing, but the reality of course is quite the opposite. No, it doesn't make you a better person and no, it probably won't even get you laid at the next Greenpeace rally. What is does accomplish, is to make your stupidity and lack of education evident to the rest of the world.

And they have the unmitigated nerve to bitch about our government???

Give me a friggin' break....

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