It never ceases to amuse me how some people cannot shake this habit of blurting out questions that come to mind, without taking even a second of their time to analyze them. This practise is what engenders entries like this, and is where the vast majority of truly idiotic questions stem from.
So I have this caller from Quebec yesterday who quite sincerely was looking for information on recreational fishing in the State of Florida. He was kind enough to state that he didn't want any information on freshwater fishing (like lunker fishing in Lake Okeechobee or the St.John River, both world reknown for trophy sized largemouth bass...), but on recreational fishing in the ocean (like maybe bonefish or tarpon on the flats...). So he pops this question on me, in that supremely arrogant tone that only Quebeckers can muster when addressing someone they perceive as representing the federal government, because they figure they have the country over a barrel with this separatist bullshit, and then waits for me to actually deliver on this type of information.
Bear in mind for one moment that we provide information from a couple of Canadian federal government entities, none of which might be construed as either the Department of Tourism for the State of Florida OR the Florida Department of Fish and Game. We're here in Canada, fer chrissakes!
So part of our protocol here, is to 'paraphrase' the caller's request. You know, just to make sure that we are both on the same page, when it comes to the information the caller actually wants. So I paraphrase (in French, of course...): "So if I understand, you have called the Department of Fisheries and Oceans Canada, a section of the Canadian federal government, for information on what the recreational fishing regulations might be in the coastal waters off the State of Florida, which is part of the United States of America, a completely foreign, separate and different country...???"
There is this roaring silence on the other end of the line. You can almost hear the little cog wheels in this man's brain, whirring around frantically as they struggle to cope with the enormous stupidity their mouth has just unleashed.
But wait... true to form, he is unwilling to, cannot possibly admit that he could have been so utterly misguided... He asks hopefully: "But surely, where you people deal with the Oceans and everything, you must have an idea...???" I reply in no uncertain terms, that our section of the Canadian government would have absolutey no information on this topic whatsoever. Again, awkward silence...
Finally, to end the misery, I suggest that this person might want to contact either the Florida Tourism folks or the State Department of Fish and Game for this type of Florida-only information. I was about to suggest that while we were at it, we also didn't have any information on monkey hunting regulations in Botswana, or info on how many pigs you were allowed to employ, to aid you in finding truffles in Provence or Perigord, France, but I held my tongue. Kudos to me. The temptation of verbally skewering a man who is already prostrate in the agony of embarassment was very strong, but I chose to tread the higher path...
He himself in what seemed like a fit of rage, added the appropriate closing statement: "Yes...that's right! Us Quebeckers are a bunch of know-nothings!!" I mused quietly to myself as the line clicked dead, how living in a cultural vacuum, to say nothing of a cultural ghetto, will do that to you...
Then it dawned on me... I had just witnessed someone who had actually been incensed by a statement he himself had made. He had actually been insulted by his own stupidity. Who knows...? Maybe this would prove a starting point for him...
So I have this caller from Quebec yesterday who quite sincerely was looking for information on recreational fishing in the State of Florida. He was kind enough to state that he didn't want any information on freshwater fishing (like lunker fishing in Lake Okeechobee or the St.John River, both world reknown for trophy sized largemouth bass...), but on recreational fishing in the ocean (like maybe bonefish or tarpon on the flats...). So he pops this question on me, in that supremely arrogant tone that only Quebeckers can muster when addressing someone they perceive as representing the federal government, because they figure they have the country over a barrel with this separatist bullshit, and then waits for me to actually deliver on this type of information.
Bear in mind for one moment that we provide information from a couple of Canadian federal government entities, none of which might be construed as either the Department of Tourism for the State of Florida OR the Florida Department of Fish and Game. We're here in Canada, fer chrissakes!
So part of our protocol here, is to 'paraphrase' the caller's request. You know, just to make sure that we are both on the same page, when it comes to the information the caller actually wants. So I paraphrase (in French, of course...): "So if I understand, you have called the Department of Fisheries and Oceans Canada, a section of the Canadian federal government, for information on what the recreational fishing regulations might be in the coastal waters off the State of Florida, which is part of the United States of America, a completely foreign, separate and different country...???"
There is this roaring silence on the other end of the line. You can almost hear the little cog wheels in this man's brain, whirring around frantically as they struggle to cope with the enormous stupidity their mouth has just unleashed.
But wait... true to form, he is unwilling to, cannot possibly admit that he could have been so utterly misguided... He asks hopefully: "But surely, where you people deal with the Oceans and everything, you must have an idea...???" I reply in no uncertain terms, that our section of the Canadian government would have absolutey no information on this topic whatsoever. Again, awkward silence...
Finally, to end the misery, I suggest that this person might want to contact either the Florida Tourism folks or the State Department of Fish and Game for this type of Florida-only information. I was about to suggest that while we were at it, we also didn't have any information on monkey hunting regulations in Botswana, or info on how many pigs you were allowed to employ, to aid you in finding truffles in Provence or Perigord, France, but I held my tongue. Kudos to me. The temptation of verbally skewering a man who is already prostrate in the agony of embarassment was very strong, but I chose to tread the higher path...
He himself in what seemed like a fit of rage, added the appropriate closing statement: "Yes...that's right! Us Quebeckers are a bunch of know-nothings!!" I mused quietly to myself as the line clicked dead, how living in a cultural vacuum, to say nothing of a cultural ghetto, will do that to you...
Then it dawned on me... I had just witnessed someone who had actually been incensed by a statement he himself had made. He had actually been insulted by his own stupidity. Who knows...? Maybe this would prove a starting point for him...
1 comment:
LOL!
You ought to hear the questions they ask when they call Tourism New Brunswick.
"Do we have to change our money when we cross into New Brunswick?"
"Do you speak French there?" this to the guy who just addressed them in French in the only officially bilingual province of Canada.
"What are the schedules for the ferry to Vancouver Island?" Umm, let's see, here it is. It leaves Saint John at 7 am, sails down the Atlantic coast, through the Panama Canal and then up the Pacific coast... Hope you've got lots of holiday time.
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