Monday, February 25, 2008

On Murphy's Military Law...

1. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.

2. No battle plan ever survives initial contact with the enemy.

3. Friendly fire... isn't.

4. The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

5. The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it .

6. Teamwork is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

7. The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.

8. Incoming fire has the right of way.

9. If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.

10. The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

11. If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

12. The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.

13. The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

14. There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

15. If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

16. Any ship can be a minesweeper... once.

17. Never draw fire. It irritates everyone around you.

18. Try to look unimportant. The enemy may be low on ammo.

19. Don't look conspicuous. It draws fire.

20. Recoilless rifles... aren't.

21. Neutral countries... aren't.

22. A sucking chest wound is nature's way of telling you to slow down.

23. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.

25. No combat ready unit ever passed inspection.

26. No inspection ready unit ever passed combat.

27. If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.

28. When in doubt, empty your magazine.

29. Tracers work both ways.

30. All five second fuses are three seconds.

31. If you can't remember... the claymore is pointed towards you.

32. The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.

33. Communications will fail as soon as you desperately need fire support.

34. In war, important things are simple and simple things are very hard.

35. If it's stupid and it works... it ain't stupid!

36. The easy way is always mined.

37. If the enemy is within range, so are you.

38. B-52s are the ultimate in close air support.

39. Carpet bombs are very, very accurate weapons. They all hit the ground.

40. Professionals are predictable, but the world is full of dangerous amateurs.

41. Peace is our profession. Mass murder is just a hobby.

42. Mines are an equal opportunity weapon.

43. Smart bombs have bad days too.

44. Remember that napalm is an area weapon.

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