Over the years, I have noticed a number of traits in my fellow drivers that border on the criminal. I'm sure I could list a litany of sins regularly performed by many drivers, which at the very least cause us to tear our collective hair out and at the very worst, can result in chaos and death on our roads.
1. People who can't merge...
Amongst these bad habits, is those who refuse to learn (or are totally incapable of grasping...) the art of merging with other traffic. It should not take an astrophysicist to decipher that merge ramps are there for one purpose and one purpose only. They are generally of a length sufficient to allow any vehicle to attain the speed required to merge successfully with the flow of traffic on that particular roadway.
For those of you who may not be familiar with merging, that is the aim point of the merging process. You must be travelling the same speed as the traffic you wish to join, by the time you hit the end of the merge ramp. That's why they call it merging. Crawling onto a highway or a freeway where the traffic is zipping by at 100kmh plus, when you're doing 40kmh at best, is NOT merging. That is called: "tempting the hand of God". It is called: "Brace yourself because we're about to get a Mack truck suppository!" It is called: "Look Ma... I'm fixin' to die in a horrific fireball of doom!" Drivers who find themselves doing this, regardless of sex or age, should immediately park their car, mail in their driver's license to their local motor vehicles branch, with a note explaining that they are too fucking retarded to drive a motor vehicle, and buy a lifetime bus pass.
When I am on any highway or freeway, whether I am riding my bike or driving a car or other vehicle, you will NEVER find me in the right-hand lane. The only time my shadow will darken that lane, is if I am just about to take an off-ramp. There are several reasons for this. People who don't have a fucking clue about merging is number one on the list. If you are in a right-hand lane, you will have to contend with these morons at every on-ramp. Not me... I stay as far the fuck away from them as is humanly possible. Normally in the extreme left-hand lane...
2. What is a passing lane and what is it for...?
Most multi-laned (3) highways are divided into three distinctly different camps. The right-hand lane I refer to as the 'curb-hugger' lane. This is for those who want to bimble along at a speed which is under the speed limit. These drivers are normally apologetic for even being in a car and realize that they are far outmatched by just about anyone else on the road. They are the speed bumps on the road. They are obstacles who are best bypassed and are ideal fodder to deal with the 'merging-challenged road hazards' that occasionally stumble blindly into their paths, causing them to either nail the brakes or careen wildly in an effort to avoid them.
The middle lane is for those who have somewhat of an idea of where they're going, but are in no particular hurry to get there. They normally clip along at 100 to 110kmh. They provide a decent buffer between myself and the 'curb huggers'. I have no real qualms about travelling in this lane but normally prefer the outside lane. As far left as I can get. The vehicles travelling in this lane definitely know where they are going and consider time a factor. Here's a word to the wise: If you are not doing AT LEAST 120kmh... stay the fuck out of this lane!!!!!!!! There is no earthly reason for you to be there. Like the middle lane, it is A PASSING LANE!!! You enter it to pass other vehicles, not simply to enjoy a different view of the traffic around you. If you are in a lane in which you are not passing vehicles that are to your right, you had better move to a slower lane. Unless you are already in the 'curb hugger' lane. Failure to get the Hell out of the way of people who actually have a clue as to where they're going, renders you an obstacle, a danger to the orderly flow of traffic.
3. Drivers with cell phones...
I'm not going to waste too much time on this one, because I think the disdain for these clowns is just about universal. This class of assholes should be dealt with in the following fashion: The vehicle is pulled over. The driver is escorted around to the rear of the vehicle, so that oncoming traffic can see what is occurring. He is made to kneel and face traffic and the attending officer dispatches him with a bullet to the back of the head. Problem solved. Moving on... If you were actually texting on your phone? You get a bullet in each kneecap first, before then being dispatched.
Like many folks out there, I could go on for quite a spell about driving habits that drive me 'round the bend. Probably the worst habit out there however, (asides from driving outside your capabilities...) is simple driver inattention. Whether driving slow, at a reasonable rate or fast, it is driver inattention that will kill you (and others...) every time. People who drive with their head up their ass, far more intent on eating, dialling a phone, applying makeup, than they are on actually driving the vehicle.
If you were ever to look up the number of Single Vehicle Accidents in your area, you would be appalled. If it were possible to know how many accidents in total were due to 'driver inattention', odds are people would be even more surprised. It's a scary world out there. I know many people think that motorcycles are dangerous. That of course, is a load of crap. Motorcycles are not dangerous, the very same as firearms are not dangerous. It is other drivers who are dangerous, just as it is uneducated people with firearms that are dangerous. There is less protection on a motorcycle, yes. But with that in mind, when you ride a bike you tend to be more cautious. You tend to be more aware. You realize that you do not have the luxury of daydreaming while you're sailing down the road. You also tend to ride a lot more on secondary roads. Highways have no appeal. Give me the long way, anyday... It's not about getting anywhere in particular, it's the journey itself... The sights, the sounds, the little roads that go who knows where...
1. People who can't merge...
Amongst these bad habits, is those who refuse to learn (or are totally incapable of grasping...) the art of merging with other traffic. It should not take an astrophysicist to decipher that merge ramps are there for one purpose and one purpose only. They are generally of a length sufficient to allow any vehicle to attain the speed required to merge successfully with the flow of traffic on that particular roadway.
For those of you who may not be familiar with merging, that is the aim point of the merging process. You must be travelling the same speed as the traffic you wish to join, by the time you hit the end of the merge ramp. That's why they call it merging. Crawling onto a highway or a freeway where the traffic is zipping by at 100kmh plus, when you're doing 40kmh at best, is NOT merging. That is called: "tempting the hand of God". It is called: "Brace yourself because we're about to get a Mack truck suppository!" It is called: "Look Ma... I'm fixin' to die in a horrific fireball of doom!" Drivers who find themselves doing this, regardless of sex or age, should immediately park their car, mail in their driver's license to their local motor vehicles branch, with a note explaining that they are too fucking retarded to drive a motor vehicle, and buy a lifetime bus pass.
When I am on any highway or freeway, whether I am riding my bike or driving a car or other vehicle, you will NEVER find me in the right-hand lane. The only time my shadow will darken that lane, is if I am just about to take an off-ramp. There are several reasons for this. People who don't have a fucking clue about merging is number one on the list. If you are in a right-hand lane, you will have to contend with these morons at every on-ramp. Not me... I stay as far the fuck away from them as is humanly possible. Normally in the extreme left-hand lane...
2. What is a passing lane and what is it for...?
Most multi-laned (3) highways are divided into three distinctly different camps. The right-hand lane I refer to as the 'curb-hugger' lane. This is for those who want to bimble along at a speed which is under the speed limit. These drivers are normally apologetic for even being in a car and realize that they are far outmatched by just about anyone else on the road. They are the speed bumps on the road. They are obstacles who are best bypassed and are ideal fodder to deal with the 'merging-challenged road hazards' that occasionally stumble blindly into their paths, causing them to either nail the brakes or careen wildly in an effort to avoid them.
The middle lane is for those who have somewhat of an idea of where they're going, but are in no particular hurry to get there. They normally clip along at 100 to 110kmh. They provide a decent buffer between myself and the 'curb huggers'. I have no real qualms about travelling in this lane but normally prefer the outside lane. As far left as I can get. The vehicles travelling in this lane definitely know where they are going and consider time a factor. Here's a word to the wise: If you are not doing AT LEAST 120kmh... stay the fuck out of this lane!!!!!!!! There is no earthly reason for you to be there. Like the middle lane, it is A PASSING LANE!!! You enter it to pass other vehicles, not simply to enjoy a different view of the traffic around you. If you are in a lane in which you are not passing vehicles that are to your right, you had better move to a slower lane. Unless you are already in the 'curb hugger' lane. Failure to get the Hell out of the way of people who actually have a clue as to where they're going, renders you an obstacle, a danger to the orderly flow of traffic.
3. Drivers with cell phones...
I'm not going to waste too much time on this one, because I think the disdain for these clowns is just about universal. This class of assholes should be dealt with in the following fashion: The vehicle is pulled over. The driver is escorted around to the rear of the vehicle, so that oncoming traffic can see what is occurring. He is made to kneel and face traffic and the attending officer dispatches him with a bullet to the back of the head. Problem solved. Moving on... If you were actually texting on your phone? You get a bullet in each kneecap first, before then being dispatched.
Like many folks out there, I could go on for quite a spell about driving habits that drive me 'round the bend. Probably the worst habit out there however, (asides from driving outside your capabilities...) is simple driver inattention. Whether driving slow, at a reasonable rate or fast, it is driver inattention that will kill you (and others...) every time. People who drive with their head up their ass, far more intent on eating, dialling a phone, applying makeup, than they are on actually driving the vehicle.
If you were ever to look up the number of Single Vehicle Accidents in your area, you would be appalled. If it were possible to know how many accidents in total were due to 'driver inattention', odds are people would be even more surprised. It's a scary world out there. I know many people think that motorcycles are dangerous. That of course, is a load of crap. Motorcycles are not dangerous, the very same as firearms are not dangerous. It is other drivers who are dangerous, just as it is uneducated people with firearms that are dangerous. There is less protection on a motorcycle, yes. But with that in mind, when you ride a bike you tend to be more cautious. You tend to be more aware. You realize that you do not have the luxury of daydreaming while you're sailing down the road. You also tend to ride a lot more on secondary roads. Highways have no appeal. Give me the long way, anyday... It's not about getting anywhere in particular, it's the journey itself... The sights, the sounds, the little roads that go who knows where...
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