Thursday, July 23, 2009

Canadians don't like to brag, but...


So, What Do Canadians Have To Be Proud Of ?

1. Smarties.

2. Crispy Crunch, Coffee Crisp.

3. The size of our footballs fields, one less down, and bigger balls.

4. Baseball is Canadian - First game June 4, 1838 - Ingersoll , ON.

5. Lacrosse is Canadian.

6. Hockey is Canadian.

7. Basketball is Canadian. (James Naismith, Almonte, ON)

8. Apple pie is Canadian.

9. Mr. Dress-up beats Mr. Rogers.

10. Tim Horton's beats Dunkin' Donuts.

11. In the war of 1812, (1812-1815) started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back past their White House. Then we burned it, and most of Washington. Then we got bored because they ran away. Then, we came home and partied........ Go figure.

12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany. (Okay... That's only because they were here in Canada at the time, but so what...).

13. We have the largest English population that never, ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere. EVER !! (We got clobbered in the odd battle but prevailed in ALL the wars).

That would include to date:

- War of 1812 (1812-1815)

- Boer War (1899-1902)

- World War I (1914-1918)

- World War II (1939-1945)

- Korean War (1950-1953)

That gives us a record of 4, 0 and 1. (Wins, losses and ties).

** For as much as Canada did not fight in the Vietnam War, we did provide a limited amount of troops to enforce the Paris Peace Accord in 1973. Notwithstanding that, between 1958-1975, 40,000 Canadians served in Vietnam, largely with American Forces units. 110 Canadians were listed as KIA (Killed In Action), while 7 are still listed as MIA (Missing In Action). In a bizarre twist of fate, an equal number of American draft dodgers (40,000) found their way to Canada and safe haven.

The perception of a neutral Canada during this period is belied by the fact that Canadian industry supplied $2.47 billion worth of war material to the United States between 1968 and 1973 through Defence Production Sharing Agreements. More than one third of all Canadian defence sales during these years - includinig aircraft parts, shells, and even napalm - were destined for use in Southeast Asia.

14. Our civil war was fought in a bar and lasted a little over an hour.

15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, he slept in and missed the whole thing. He showed up just in time to get caught.

16. A Canadian invented Standard Time. (Sanford Flemming, 1883).

17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the world's oldest company.

18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.
(That's more information than I need!)

19. We know what to do with the parts of a buffalo.

20. We don't marry our kin-folk.

21. Canadians invented ski-doos (snowmobiles), jet-skis, Velcro, zippers, the caulking gun, alkaline batteries, the Blackberry, the Canadarm, the electron microscope, Cobalt 60 cancer treatment, the G-Suit, the paint roller, Plexiglas, the combine harvester, the electric wheelchair, the snowblower, electronic music synthesizers, the light bulb, insulin, penicillin, pacemakers, zambonis, the telephone, walkie-talkies and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.

22. We have ALL frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it.

23. A Canadian invented Superman. (Joe Schuster)

24. We have coloured money.

25. Our beer advertisements kick ass. ( does our beer ).

26. We don't have to invade foreign countries or suffer dubious allegiances for oil, we make our own.


The handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on.

OOOoohhhhh.... Canada !!

Oh yeah... and our elections only last one day!

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