Thursday, December 17, 2009

Guess who's NOT geting hired... *Sigh!*

We often get e-mails from people looking to work with either Fisheries and Oceans Canada/Canadian Coast Guard. You can tell a lot about a person, by the language, tone, composition and content of their e-mails. If it happens to be full of typos and inaccuracies, poor grammar, ebonics or textual abbreviations, you can pretty much assume that the author cares little for accuracy, communications skills or even rendering a half-decent effort for any assignment they may be tasked with.

After all, when they write to you, they are presumably putting their very best face forward, as they are coming to you, seeking employment based on how they present themselves. You can certainly formulate a credible first impression and tell whether or not you might actually consider hiring them...

The following is from our CCG website which provides information on our Marine Electronic Technologist (EL) Development Program (MELDEV):

At Fisheries and Oceans Canada/Canadian Coast Guard, most Electronics Technologists work for the Canadian Coast Guard's Integrated Technical Services (ITS) Directorate.

This team of dynamic, skilled professionals provide technical support to Marine Communications and Traffic Services, Aids to Navigation, and a diverse and multi-purpose fleet.

The fleet consists of icebreakers, buoy tenders, search and rescue vessels, hovercrafts and vessels for scientific research and the Canadian Hydrographic Service stationed across Canada.

The following website provides specific information regarding the MELDEV course, which is the Marine Electronic Technologist (EL) Development Program (MELDEV).

The program description is followed by a very specific, very clearly laid out section on how to go about applying for this position.


"Federal government positions open to the public are published on the Internet site of the Public Service Commission (PSC).

Job listings are also available by telephone through the PSC's InfoTel service at the toll-free number: 1-800-645-5605. Recruitment opportunities will be posted as the need arises through out the year.

It is highly recommended that you check this site on a regular basis.

Applications must be sent directly to the PSC to be considered (NOTE: NOT DFO or the Canadian Coast Guard, NOT Transport Canada, NOT your Mom... but the PSC). As the Public Service of Canada promotes employment equity, we also encourage candidates to voluntarily self-identify if they are women, Aboriginal people, members of visible minority group or persons with a disability."

Sounds pretty simple, right? Child-proof, some might say. So this morning we get the following e-mail from this lad. Guess who stands a snowball's chance in Hell for being hired on...???

"I just have a question I am trying to apply for a Electical Efficer position, and for the marine electronic technologist program. I have following the links on the website they continue to bring me to a dead end and send me to another website which is unrelated and hard to navigate. Just wondering if you have a direct email address or online application that i could send too."

If I had anything to do with the selection process, based on this individual's introductory e-mail...? I'd be advising him to start practicing the phrase: "Do you want fries with that...?"

So, congratulations!! You have just succeeded in failing the very first test in becoming a member of any of our teams... Besides being functionally illiterate, this lad couldn't find his own ass with both hands and a diagram. Like I've said before, you can't make this stuff up. It's absolute GOLD!! :)

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